Happy as a clam to be back in Copenhagen and be again surrounded by an overwhelming amount of humble creativity, bike lanes, and opportunities!
I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘happy as a clam’ before in my life, but the phrase popped into my head when taking the 5A down Norrebrogade from the CPH airport two nights ago. Maybe it was the recent encounter with a large amount of shellfish in Brussels (more on that later) but I really did not expect to feel overjoyed upon my return to Denmark. Excited, certainly, but what came as a total surprise was the sense of belonging. I still have very few friends in this entire country. The temperature is half of what I would prefer and on most days I don’t see the sun at all. Nevertheless, I feel like I am in the right place.
It’s 2013 now and, as cliché as it sounds, I have a new sense of purpose… maybe because it’s the first year that I feel like my New Years resolutions actually matter. Resolutions in previous years to ‘actually do my reading’ and ‘maybe eat less cheese’ seem trivial in retrospect compared to ‘figure out how to make a writing career work without becoming (more) broke.’
Going back to the Bay for Christmas was an excellent decision. Admittedly, in the weeks before I left Copenhagen I was in a panic, and was this close to moving home and re-occupying the couch in San Rafael and finding whatever job that would replenish the fundage I’ve blown in Scandinavia. But I realize now I was just in a rut. I thank all my friends and family who challenged me with the difficult questions about the logic of being here and even the ones who ripped me a new one for doing it. I’m excited that I’ve come to peace with the fact that I’m here for a little bit and will be back soon. My life still doesn’t make any sense, but I’m starting to get the sense that the feeling is pretty standard…
I’m writing this on this counter at Café Mokkariet on Jagtvej that I only just realized, after sitting here for probably a hundred hours, used to be a door. Oh, you Danish people and your subtle chic genius. Hopefully by just existing in this city I’ll be able to soak up some of that.
until the next cool café,